Artist Statement
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I am always very sad. I think my core is deeply connected to pain. I might still be smiling in daily life, but I wouldn't feel myself in most of those moments.
Studio practice, or art creation in general, is the moment when I am facing who I really am. Facing my pain, my preferences, my obsession and those slightly sinful pleasures, however, I don't intentionally project my emotions onto my creations, I don't want ... to control my art.
I don't want to control my art so much that I'm almost scared of controlling it, for it will lose its subjectivity in that way. If something stops being unpredictable, it's almost dead in my subjective world. That would make me feel extremely lonely, after so many years of being accompanied by art.
So in my studio practice, I like to keep a certain distance from what I create, especially in sound creation. I like to be surprised by a machine that's complicated and unpredictable enough, exploring about myself in the sea it creates, but still having some ability to lead. Specifically, my practice in the past year relies heavily on the E-mu modular system synthesizer, created in the 70s. I am also doing some sheet-music composition.
My art practice is a constant journal, the sustenance of my whole life. It seems very dynamic recently. It’s healthy in that way.